Dok Kaew Gardens, Chiang Mai

Today we had a short visit with our friends Cheryl and Jason. It was so good to see them again although this is a very tough time for them.

We've been in Thailand 12 days now. I have a lot of catching up to do on the blog but I wanted to get this update out there for Jason.

We were on our way to a place called Dok Kaew Gardens. It's in the McKean Hospital grounds, a beautiful island complex on the Ping river run by the Presbyterian Church of Thailand.

It was formerly a leprosy hospital and later focused on rehabilitative care. In 2010 they opened the Dok Kaew Gardens, an assisted living facility for farangs and Thais together.

Mom wanted to check it out as a possible future home for her and Papa when they reach an age to need it. It was great for us to see it too. With so many horror stories from the U.S. Of mistreatment of seniors, it was reassuring to see such loving care.

One of two churches on the island. One was for those affected by leprosy, the other for those that weren't.

As we entered the building we were shown the reception area. It was in use by the resident cat and since it was exceptionally hot we meet instead inside the admin office.

At this time there are 30 residents coming from 10 nations. The largest group is Americans, but there are Japanese, Chinese, New Zealanders, Swedes, Thai, German, and some others we forgot (con pukas :)

In the dining room the residents choose from Thai or western food. The Thai food is prepared at the adjacent hospital that focuses on palliative and hospice care. The western food is prepared in the kitchen shown above.

They have an extensive library of English language books.

Holly, the nurse who showed us around said there is a desire to build a larger library to house all the donated books and movies.

The grounds are absolutely beautiful but also accessible by walker or wheelchair.

We're walking over to the low care unit. These are essentially apartments for people who are independent but need assistance with things like renewing visas.

Inside each, there is a small bathroom.

A chair and TV with wireless and a small fridge. Residents can bring their own furniture if they want to.

The rooms come with a sabai view.

We walked over to the high care facility. These have fill time nurses and can accommodate people with more severe problems including dementia.

It's also a very pleasant relaxed atmosphere.

Holly gave us a very thorough tour and addressed every question Mom and Barbara threw at her without sounding like she was selling us on the place, although she was doing a great job of doing that.

More views from the gardens.

Now we're driving around McKean's hospital grounds but outside the Dok Keaw Gardens. These cottages are being used to house refugee families from Myanmar.

The whole estate had a feeling of tranquility and history.

Another view of the Myanmar refugees.

This is one of the cabins left from the days of the leper colony.

Some more of the same that has been restored.

A museum documenting the history of McKean is quite interesting.

I guess there is a certain irony in coming to Thailand on a retirement visa and starting with a tour of a retirement home.

It is a comfort to know that if we or Mom need it it's here for us. That's reassuring in these days of rising costs and declining services in US based elder care.

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Update: October 26th, 2018

It has been 1 week since the funeral and cremation of our family friend Cheryl Logan. She passed away peacefully here at Dok Kaew Gardens just a couple of weeks after we first saw it. I'm not 100% sure of the time of death, but since the message I received from Sam and Kat said she passed away about an hour before 1am, I'm going with just before midnight on the 2nd anniversary of the Kings death in 2016.

Cheryl came to Thailand in 2014, the same year we went to Boston. She came with her boyfriend Jerry Ziegler after living with Jerry in Belize and Ireland. She came here to be close to Jason, her son Jason. I met Jerry and Cheryl and later Jason when I came to Mom and Papa Chai's wedding in February 2015.

We had heard about her for a couple of years before that. Barbara was the first of us to come to Chaing Mai in November of 2013. Since Cheryl and Jerry moved here the next year Sam and Kat started telling us about this avid horsewoman who had just moved to our intended home. Barbara was running the horse rescue in Hawaii at the time so we were certainly interested to meet her.

We saw Cheryl, Jason and Jerry again in 2016 when we came again to Chiang Mai to get an idea of where we wanted to live. At that time they had just completed their new home and ranch on a leased mango orchard.

In 2017 Cheryl got very sick and it was diagnosed as cancer. She had a rough go of it, but recovered and planned a trip back to the US in 2018, to do bucket list item; a cruise to Alaska. While we were cruising around in our ill fated RV they were cruising up the west coast and then went to Indiana to see Jerry's family. They were supposed to come back and visit Joyce one more time in August. Barbara and I were staying with Sam and Kat and planned to vacate so they could use the guest room at the What Ranch.

Unfortunately, Cheryl took a turn for the worse and had to return to Chiang Mai to restart chemo and radiation treatments.

When we arrived in Chiang Mai, she was going to come down from Phrao for treatments at Bangkok Hospital. Jerry recommended we hold off visiting until she felt better. As it turned out, she wasn't going to get better. The cancer had spread to her brain and because of swelling they couldn't continue treatments.

Jason had heard of Dok Kaew and had been considering it. He asked us to report on the trip we had scheduled to with Mom. The subject of this original blog. After positive reports from us, he visited the next day. After his recommendation combined with ours about the care and beautiful environment there, Cheryl decided to move there.

Since we had rented a car, we took her in that and Jason and Jerry followed in Jason's truck.

Cheryl never lost her sense of humor. The whole idea of me driving the rental car was that it was air conditioned and more comfortable for her. I tried to turn up the aircon in the car to the lowest setting, but instead turned it off. I thought the big bars were warmer and the little bars were cooler. It turns out cars here don't have a heater so big bars just means more cold air. Cheryl got a laugh out of the fact at our age we still couldn't properly operate the car.

I asked her if she wanted me to just keep driving rather than head back to the hospital. She said yes, let's do that. It would have been a weird variation on Harold and Maude or maybe Thelma and Louise, but we decided since we couldn't get the aircon to work we should probably go find Jason.

She originally went to McKean hospital/hospice. She was in a room with 5 other women, and she liked the company, at least at first.

She lost her voice, but not her enjoyment of sweets. We brought her some goodies from the Charm Bakery and she really enjoyed that.

Later she decided to move to a private room at Dok Kaew Gardens. It's all on the same property so they took her by bike/ambulance.

The last time we saw Cheryl was Thursday. She had enough of her voice back to talk a while. Jason was up in Phrao at the time so it was just the three of us. Cheryl really enjoyed massages from Barbara and fell asleep while she gave it. We tried to sneak out but she woke briefly. We said goodbye for the last time. The very last thing I remember was her mouthing the words "thank you".

We didn't make it back Friday and planned to go Saturday morning. Jason said things were not good and she didn't want to see anyone today. In fact, he said he thought we'd lost her Friday night.

Saturday night, I was awakened at 1:00am from a message from Sam or Kat telling us Jerry had just reported Cheryl passed away about an hour earlier. I was laying in bed processing that news when Wurstchen entered the room and wanted to cuddle. That was very unusual as he is, as Kat said, a good sleeper and doesn't normally get up at night.

After a few minutes of licking my face, he wanted off the bed and for me to follow him outdoors. OK he had to pee. But he didn't. He just stood outside looking up at the stars for several minutes. OK he was sniffing the air, but it looked like he was gazing to heaven.

Cheryl was one off the strongest animal advocates I have every met and it seemed to me Wurstchen was paying his respects to Cheryl's spirit as it passed by.

The next morning Jason told us, the hospital cat had come to Cheryl's window about 10 hours before she died. She wanted him to let the cat in and it laid on her lap. It didn't move until about 5 minutes after Cheryl died.

Holly later told me that the cat liked to visit, but never stayed in one place for 10 hours. She also pointed out that some would say the cat smelled the impending death, but the window to Cheryl's room was closed. Finally, she said she avoided telling her Thai friends the story because they are superstitious and might think a visiting cat meant they were going to die.

No matter if it is explained by superstition, a Christian miracle or evidence that all of life is one spirit, in my backpacker Buddhist way of thinking. Being intimate with someone as they leave this world opens our hearts and minds to these possibilities.

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The funeral was not until the following Friday. It took place behind the hospital.

We arrived by Grab car, but then were taken by the "ambulance" to the site of the ceremony and cremation.

We gathered in a covered pavilion and when we all had arrived, Holly read the eulogy prepared by Jason.

Jason talking to the minister. Lek and Pi in the background and Holly on the right.

Jerry Ziegler, Cheryl's boyfriend for many years.

After the ceremony we each took a rose and said our individual goodbye to Cheryl. The horse was Jerry's idea and was so very appropriate. We were given orange juice and brownies while we waited. Cheryl would have certainly appreciated the brownie.

The burn at relatively low temperature with the flame visible.

After the ceremony and cremation, many of us went to the Gecko Restaurant to celebrate Cheryl's life.

Lot's of stories at lunch and Sam & Kat joined by video

In the evening we went to a kind of Thai variety show and celebrated life some more. Maybe too much as I was in the doghouse when I rolled in at 4:30am.

All in all it has been an intensely emotional start to our life in Thailand, but I think it serves to keep everything in perspective. For that we have to acknowledge the wonderful life of Cheryl Logan and those who loved her. They are now our friends.